There’s this ache in my chest and my best friend, or at least someone I thought was my best friend in the entire world, put it there. Exactly two minutes after the ball dropped, he called me and told me he couldn’t be my friend anymore and that he was leaving my life for good. No explanations given except that it was in his best interest; so he could feel better. I’m still trying to figure out how to react. I don’t want to see anyone, I don’t want to eat, I don’t want to go out. Ive done my crying and all I have left is this huge ball of anger, resentment, disappointment and sadness rolling around my stomach.
He’s tried calling me several times but honestly, I can’t bring myself to answer. How can you say something like that to me and then expect me to hear you out? I have always been there for you, through so much shit and I have torn myself apart for you and you leave? Fuck you.
I don’t plan on answering his calls, ever. This is what he wanted. Even if he regretted it immediately and tried to patch things up it wouldn’t change how he made me feel. Like I can be thrown away without a second thought.
2015 was an amazing year for me. I know I’m amazing, I know I have a lot to offer and if he can’t see that then screw him. I have thicker skin now. He lost me. HE LOST ME. Not the other way around.
Now I’m gonna it my ass down, write some wonderful reviews for you guys because this mess of emotions is fantastic writing fuel. See you soon, loves.